Posts filed under ‘Random Ramblings’

A Random Survey

The WordPress daily post today was about how to add forms to your blog, so I thought I’d give it a go. So here is one of the most random and bizarre surveys you might ever be asked.

FORM REMOVED

Annoyingly, I can only do one survey. I tried adding a second, but it just edited the first, so I had to redo it. Some things about the form are annoying, like that you can only write short questions or labels, but not because it won’t let you write long ones, it just doesn’t display right if you do. Also I could not figure out a way to just have some text in there, like to ask the question answered by the check boxes, and I would have preferred that as a thing where you can only pick one of the three as well. It was actually really annoying getting it just right, for such a silly survey, so I hope someone actually does it, please, so my effort wasn’t totally wasted!

Please have fun with it, the sillier the responses the better 🙂 (but play nice).

EDIT: I have had to remove this survey as it kept generating spam. This is intensely annoying, especially as some of it has been very unpleasant. I have taken to simply deleting the notifications of answers to this survey from my email without even looking at them, but today I had about ten and decided it was time to delete it. I only made it in the first place at the urging of WP on their blog, and it has been more a source of trouble than amusement. I would certainly not want to make another. Dear WP, why can’t we have Akismet to remove the spam from forms as well as from posts? It does a very good job.

May 10, 2013 at 7:12 PM 6 comments

I have nothing to say today

So shall I just say nothing? Or shall I whiffle on about nothing of any import. I wonder how many words words I can write about this non-subject? Probably enough to bore both you and me, but I think I shall run out of steam before it gets very much worse.

It’s not been a bad day and I don’t feel too tired or ill, which is nice. So I don’t have a good excuse. I don’t mean to let you down by forcing you to read this drivel, but this is a somewhat inevitable consequence of blogging every day, or trying to.

Today I did some crochet, and some more crochet. Yesterday I went to the yarn shop, actually, to two yarn shops… but that would be more interesting if I had photos of the yarn I bought. I could take the photos, but I don’t feel like it. Sorry. Or maybe it’s a relief if you are not as excited by yarn as I am…

I seem to have developed a yarn addiction to add to my bibliophilia. What would that be called? Yarnophilia? And is there a word for cat cuddle addiction? Pebble, my tabby cat, is very cuddly.

Well, I seem to have blethered on for 200+ words, which is more than enough.

Please feel free to insult me in the comments for my pathetic inexcusable wasting of your time. But if you do, please try to use imaginative and different words instead of swear words 😉

March 26, 2011 at 9:04 PM 1 comment

Toilet Day!

For some reason today seems to be toilet day. First is discussion about the scrapping of public toilets here in England because we can’t afford them any more. Hmm, I’m not convinced that it will be any cheaper to clean up the inevitable mess that will result, to say nothing of the spread of disease potential.

Then not just one but two of the blogs I subscribe to picked today to blog about public toilets! So there you go, I’m just jumping on the bandwagon! (One with toilets on…)

I think there should be public toilets – free ones! I totally hate ones where you are expected to pay to pee. Not least because I don’t tend to carry a lot cash and most likely won’t have the right change. Also, those Belgian women who spend their whole lives sitting in toilets just so you can pay them – freaky! What a depressing way to spend your life.

I also totally hate ones where the flush is broken. If it doesn’t work, stick a sign on the door and fix it. Don’t just leave it to build up!

Flush flush

As an arthritis with feeble fingers, another of my pet hates with toilets is the flush flush button. My fingers are not strong enough to push this! Sadly, this is the kind of flush I have to live with in my home. I have to use a hairbrush to flush it!

Similarly, I also have problems with some kinds of taps.

And why do the doors have to open inwards??? Too often have I encountered a large room with a row of tiny cubicles whose doors open inwards so close to the toilet seat that you can barely squeeze in and out! So not logical!

I shall also spare a brief mention of the mirrors in ladies toilets obviously fitted by men. Tall men. I am short. What is the point of a mirror I can barely see my hairline in? I’m not especially short either, at 5 foot 4. Just as well I don’t wear make-up.

What else? Locks that don’t work; toilet paper that has run out and you don’t realise until it’s too late; noisy hand drying blowers; hand drying blowers that can’t see my hands so they cut out every three seconds; soap that smells nasty and lingers on my hands for hours. Oh and even worse – solid soap *shudder*! I can never forget the thing I saw on tv where they swabbed various surfaces and the solid soap had by far the most bacteria, way more than the toilet itself! Ugh.

And what about this one from Norway?

Norwegian toilet for people with veeeery loooong arms!

I don’t think I’ve ever seen the toilet paper dispenser quite so far away from the seat! I took some before doing my business.

But at least all that is better than having nowhere to go at all. You can die of a burst bladder you know! No matter how bad they are, having public toilets is preferable to not having public toilets.

What are your thoughts on public toilets? Is it OK for England to get rid of them or totally disgusting and extremely uncivilised?

March 7, 2011 at 10:41 PM 6 comments

Sarcastic Fringehead

This is a fish. A real actual fish called the sarcastic fringehead. I just think this is a fantastic name for a fish, totally random and bizarre.

I don’t have any special knowledge of this fish that is worthy of a blog post, I just like the name. I googled it to see if there were any cool factoids or images I could add to enhance this post from the basic, hey did you know there’s a fish with a really cool random name to something at least vaguely informative.

There is speculation that the name comes from the Greek, where it meant flesh tearing rather a cutting remark, which makes sense as it’s a vicious little beastie.

I’d like to be able to add a photo, but I don’t have any and am too tired to trawl through Google images to find one with no copyright. They are shockingly ugly with huge bug eyes though, so a quick look might be fun!

Short and weird today!

What’s your favourite weirdly named thing?

March 5, 2011 at 11:03 PM Leave a comment

The Plastic-Bag Nesting Dog-Poo Bird

I have begun to notice the nests of this peculiar creature as I perambulate the countryside. It seems to like nesting in bushes, choosing a range of different colour nesting materials, but always favouring the neatly tied plastic bag. Some prefer the bag to be sufficiently thin and translucent that the eggs may be observed without disturbing them by opening the bag.

The Bush-Nesting Egg-Watching Dog-Poo Bird

Others are more secretive in nature, favouring the opaque nest.

The Bush-Nesting Secretive Dog-Poo Bird

Other species seem to prefer crevices in rocks, such as dry stone walls.

The Secretive Wall-Nesting Poo-Bird

If a crevice is unavailable, they may huddle beside a solitary rock, half buried in the soil.

The Frustrated Wall-Nester

How much better it would be if these were indeed the natural life-cycle processes of relatively innocuous, if rather unpleasantly named, little birds. Why can’t dog owners realise that this does not count!

OK the poo is in a bag. Big Deal! If you don’t actually put it in a bin as well, it lingers like this for goodness knows how long, prevented from biodegrading back into the soil, festering foully.

If you can be bothered to put the thing in a bag, why stop there? The little nests of the dog-poo bird are not pretty little adornments of the countryside, they are ugly pollution! Please put them in the bin where they belong.

The Ideal Home for the Dog-Poo Bird, a few hundred yards, if that, away from the Frustrated Wall-Nest. Poor little bird, it was so near, yet so far from where it would have been happiest.

I have never observed the birds laying these little brown eggs. I believe them to be secretive creatures, who might be shamed into finding a better home for their eggs were they to be noticed.

Have you seen any?

February 21, 2011 at 10:21 PM 4 comments

Some jokes

So I’m tired again and it’s time to blog. I could have blogged earlier when I was less tired, but I failed. Partly because I’ve been having fun reading random blogs 🙂

This one said it was worth writing if you make one person smile, or laugh, somewhere in the world. So instead of me trying to dredge up something coherent while I’m tired, here are some of my favourite jokes.

(Disclaimer – I did not invent these jokes. I make no guarantee of the quality of these jokes. Warning: some of the jokes may make you groan. Or not. They are clean and safe, apart from a little toilet humour. Some of them are very old. I mean really old.)

 

Patient: Doctor, doctor, my family thinks I’m mad!

Doctor: Why?

P: Because I like sausages.

D: But I like sausages too.

P: You do? You must come and see my collection – I have thousands!

(I always picture the sausages pinned to boards under glass like butterflies, or neatly labelled in drawers, by category…)

 

How many ears did Billy the Kid have?

Three – a left ear, a right ear and a wild frontier!

(Again, my visual brain pictures a wildly wriggling ear on the front of the man’s forehead. This image usually has me in stitches, even when I tell the joke myself. I am laughing now.)

 

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dunggggg!

 

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick!

 

What’s green and has ten thousand legs?

Grass.

I lied about the legs.

 

What red and lies upside down in the gutter?

A dead bus.

 

My favourite Tudor joke (yes, a genuine 16th century joke!):

Which animal is it which hath her tail between her eyes?

That is a cat, as she licketh her arse!

 

My favourite Anglo-Saxon riddle (paraphrased):

I have one eye, one nose, one mouth,

One neck, one back, one belly,

Two arms, two shoulders, two legs

And a hundred heads.

What am I?

A one-eyed seller of garlic!

 

I know some shaggy dog stories as well, but I think that’s enough for one day!

What’s your favourite joke? Please only leave clean jokes with no cruelty to animals!

February 16, 2011 at 11:06 PM 5 comments

Wibble

Today I feel wibble.

Wibble.

Wibblewibblewibble.

Wib.

That’s all today.

 

February 15, 2011 at 9:42 PM Leave a comment

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