Why am I putting this off?
Why do I keep procrastinating writing this blog? Because I do. That’s why there have been so many ‘oh no, it’s late and I’m tired so I’ll just post yet another apology’ posts! A few have been because I was busy, but more have been due to actively putting it off.
So there must be a reason. Because it’s supposed to be fun, right? So when did it stop being fun?
I think one problem is the pending rant post about the disability benefit which upsets me so much. I want to get my views out there (why, I don’t know, because it’s not as if the PM reads my blog!!!) but I know it will upset me all over again.
Another issue is that I want to make lots of posts about crochet, but I don’t want to unbalance my blog (although it is unbalanced by the excess of whinge-put-off posts!) Hmm, I think that is also an excuse because another reason I haven’t done those yet is that I need to make decisions, do some finishing off (which is the main place I block at) and it just seems like so much effort (it’s not really, it’s an illusion, but a pernicious one.)
Something is blocking me, somewhere, but what? It’s not even just the blog, I have been unable to get anywhere today. A few rounds of the bag I’m working on, browsing the web, watching TV and reading a novel do not really count as getting anywhere. I even put off doing the washing. Why? It’s not that big of a deal. But I just feel blocked.
I could just be tired. That happens. I had a busy 3 days on Friday and the weekend. That can take a day or two to recover with my arthritic energy levels 😦 And I got very excited about my new toy (see Saturday’s post) and trying it out. I can crash a bit after excitement.
I do hope that’s all it is and that I will be back to normal tomorrow.
But I feel as if there is a blockage and I feel like the blog is a chore, although I am actually finding it helpful writing this now, which makes me think maybe it is a block and it’s something to do with the blog.
I think it is about the posts I feel I ‘ought’ to write. I’m not good at ‘ought’ at the moment.
Yup, I reckon that’s it!
So, either the blog is a discipline and I must push through this reluctance, or I would be happier to just let the blog flow down light and fluffy paths with the occasional diversion into heavier matters when I need to or can handle it.
Probably a mixture of both.
I feel lighter about having realised this. I also need to lighten up about it – it’s only a blog, it’s not my homework! There’s no exam, no blog police, no repercussions for failure. I haven’t missed a day yet, apart from the one time WordPress had a problem and they gave us a free pass for that one. But if you count all the non-content posts as fails then I haven’t done quite so well.
Except it doesn’t matter! Surely the only relevant measure of a blog is if anyone reads it? I do feel I have let you guys down if I post too many wibble posts, yet you say you prefer that to my missing one, so I should not feel guilty when I do it!
I will be addressing issues of putting off ‘oughts’ soon enough, if this appointment ever comes through! So until I know how to deal with them I shall not be putting pressure on myself over the blog.
Thanks for sticking with me! 🙂 I shall continue to post every day, I shall post about whatever I feel like without feeling guilt (or try…) and I will regard the blog as a fun place to have fun, not as a chore!
Here’s to a funner blog! 😀