Why am I putting this off?

May 24, 2011 at 11:31 PM 2 comments

Why do I keep procrastinating writing this blog? Because I do. That’s why there have been so many ‘oh no, it’s late and I’m tired so I’ll just post yet another apology’ posts! A few have been because I was busy, but more have been due to actively putting it off.

So there must be a reason. Because it’s supposed to be fun, right? So when did it stop being fun?

I think one problem is the pending rant post about the disability benefit which upsets me so much. I want to get my views out there (why, I don’t know, because it’s not as if the PM reads my blog!!!) but I know it will upset me all over again.

Another issue is that I want to make lots of posts about crochet, but I don’t want to unbalance my blog (although it is unbalanced by the excess of whinge-put-off posts!) Hmm, I think that is also an excuse because another reason I haven’t done those yet is that I need to make decisions, do some finishing off (which is the main place I block at) and it just seems like so much effort (it’s not really, it’s an illusion, but a pernicious one.)

Something is blocking me, somewhere, but what? It’s not even just the blog, I have been unable to get anywhere today. A few rounds of the bag I’m working on, browsing the web, watching TV and reading a novel do not really count as getting anywhere. I even put off doing the washing. Why? It’s not that big of a deal. But I just feel blocked.

I could just be tired. That happens. I had a busy 3 days on Friday and the weekend. That can take a day or two to recover with my arthritic energy levels😦 And I got very excited about my new toy (see Saturday’s post) and trying it out. I can crash a bit after excitement.

I do hope that’s all it is and that I will be back to normal tomorrow.

But I feel as if there is a blockage and I feel like the blog is a chore, although I am actually finding it helpful writing this now, which makes me think maybe it is a block and it’s something to do with the blog.

I think it is about the posts I feel I ‘ought’ to write. I’m not good at ‘ought’ at the moment.

Yup, I reckon that’s it!

So, either the blog is a discipline and I must push through this reluctance, or I would be happier to just let the blog flow down light and fluffy paths with the occasional diversion into heavier matters when I need to or can handle it.

Probably a mixture of both.

I feel lighter about having realised this. I also need to lighten up about it – it’s only a blog, it’s not my homework! There’s no exam, no blog police, no repercussions for failure. I haven’t missed a day yet, apart from the one time WordPress had a problem and they gave us a free pass for that one. But if you count all the non-content posts as fails then I haven’t done quite so well.

Except it doesn’t matter! Surely the only relevant measure of a blog is if anyone reads it? I do feel I have let you guys down if I post too many wibble posts, yet you say you prefer that to my missing one, so I should not feel guilty when I do it!

I will be addressing issues of putting off ‘oughts’ soon enough, if this appointment ever comes through! So until I know how to deal with them I shall not be putting pressure on myself over the blog.

Thanks for sticking with me!🙂 I shall continue to post every day, I shall post about whatever I feel like without feeling guilt (or try…) and I will regard the blog as a fun place to have fun, not as a chore!

Here’s to a funner blog!😀

Entry filed under: Writing. Tags: .

Must try harder Crochet Design-Along

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. ticathejoi  |  May 24, 2011 at 11:35 PM

    Hey, nice post.
    I’ve got new blog, so feel free to check it out.🙂

    Hugs.

    Reply
  • 2. jannatwrites  |  May 30, 2011 at 12:55 AM

    I wonder if the the post a day challenge could be affecting your mindset? I know when a deadline is opposed, the rebel in me wants to fight it. Just a thought…

    The blog should be fun for you, so I think you should post whatever is occupying your thoughts that you want to write about.

    Reply

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